How to Deal with Grief - Coping with the Loss of a Loved One

By Elizabeth Postle, RN, HV, FWT

Elizabeth Postle had a varied and fulfilling nursing career, culminating in running her own high dependency hospice.  She is the author of this website.  Read more about her here.  

I hope that the following pages about how to deal with grief will help you to find positive ways of coping with death, loss or bereavement and also show you how to help others who are dealing with grief. Perhaps some of these words will be of some comfort as you follow your own bereavement pathway.

From the moment we are born there is only one certainty in our life. That is that we are going to die. Whether we live for 3 weeks, 3 years, 30 years or 90 years, life is a precious thing, each day a gift.

How to deal with grief uplifting quote, life is precious, each day a gift.  With sunrise background.

Each life is a miracle of nature, a contribution to the universe.

The fact that you are grieving means that you had someone you loved very much. Many people go through life never knowing real love. Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all?

Grief has no boundaries. It happens to rich or poor. Royalty and celebrities - no-one is exempt. In this we are all equals. Trying to make sense of it all is easier if you accept that it is a fact of life. The one certainty in life is that our lifetime will end.

Birth and death are such natural parts of life, but it’s very hard to accept when it’s your soul mate, your partner, a close friend or relative who dies, especially a young person. It also brings home your own mortality.

Make the most of life

It’s so easy to forget just to make the most of every day. Be kind to your family and friends and enjoy the life you have. The loved one who has died will always be a major chapter in your life. Never forgotten. Your day to day life continues on though. Your lifespan, no matter how long or short goes on. It, too, is precious. You owe it to the rest of your family and friends to grieve, yes, but move on.

What is the Grieving Process?

It’s a time to adjust to the death of a loved one. A process of learning to cope without their physical presence. You are going through a bereavement, and for many weeks you still expect them to walk in through the door. You may think that you see them in a crowd. The lack of conversation, phone calls, outings with them, missing their helpful advice; these are all small losses which make up the greater loss of your bereavement. After the death of a child, the house can seem so quiet.

There can be a lack of all the care routines that were in place for an ill family member or friend. Feelings of emptiness and wondering how to fill your days might be difficult when you no longer have your baby, your child or your ill loved one to care for. You do feel bereft. These turmoils of painful emotions are overwhelming at first and at times later. Take each day at a time, endure and it will become easier to cope with everyday routines again.

Everyone is different and no-one will have exactly the same grieving process. You may feel any one of a variety of different emotions. You might feel many of them at the same time, or you might feel numb and empty. There is no set time for grieving, it is all individual. But it might help if you read about some of the more common emotions of grief to help you understand what is happening to you.

Wonder not Grief, Quote with Clouds

How to Deal with Grief

When feelings are high, have a weep, take some deep breaths and move on. Ring a friend, smile, go shopping, cook a meal. Carry on with your normal activities. Anything to take your mind off these negative feelings. You will learn to cope with your emotions and the severity of these feelings will ease. A huge effort has to be made to think positively and focus the mind. Keep busy.

Endure and survive. Bring happiness back into your own life.

When anxiety, panic and butterflies in the stomach overwhelm you, just let it wash over you like a wave. Take deep breaths. Understand that it will pass and you can learn to control it. Have a cuppa. Go for a walk. Realise that they are natural symptoms. Everyone suffers them at some time in their lives. They are not unusual.

Here are many more pages from this site to show you how to deal with your grief:

Activities which help you feel better

Please visit our new 'Self-Care' hub for all of our pages on activities including yoga, meditation, mindfulness, grief journaling and more. 

For Professionals, FRIENDS AND FAMILY

Where to get help: 

Have You Considered One-on-One Online Grief Counseling? 

Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home

The following information about online counseling is sponsored by 'Betterhelp' but all the opinions are our own. To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with 'Betterhelp', but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.  

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward?  It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life. 

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

  • Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
  • Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
  • Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
  • You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
  • Click here to find out more and get started immediately.
  • Or read more about how online counseling works here.  
Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.  

Read more about it here. 

For Remembrance: 

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Heart Shaped Sterling Silver Pendant for Cremation Ashes, Engraved Forever Loved

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one.  Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles.  Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift. 

Click here to see our selection

Create an Online Memorial Website

Honour your loved one with their own memorial website.  Share photos, videos, memories and more with your family and friends in a permanent online website.  Free for basic plan with no ads. 

Find out more here. 

Keep in touch with us: 

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"The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do
To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life"

Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us. 

NEW BONUS - Also receive a copy of our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor'.  Available for instant download as soon as you sign up. Never waste money on poor counseling again! 

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