Sleeping problems are very common after a loss. When we are grieving our bodies are in shock and we are often suffering from anxiety too.
When you are suffering from insomnia, whether it is because you have had a bereavement or due to another of life's stresses or an illness, it can make life even more challenging.
These relaxation techniques will help you to sleep better which will enable you to cope during the day.
One of the most important things to remember is that being awake in the middle of the night is not the end of the world.
If you can't sleep, instead of lying there fretting and worrying about it, why not get up and do something. Most of this website was written between the hours of 2am – 4am!
If you have a lot of thoughts or ideas going around your head, it can be really helpful to write them all down. Once they are out of your mind and on the paper, you can then settle back to sleep.
Click here for more information about grief journaling and how to do it.
Make sure your bed is comfortable, and not too hot or too cold. Sleep
in a well ventilated room, and keep your bedroom for sleeping only.
Do some physical exercise during the day. It's easier to sleep if you are physically tired.
Don't watch television or use the computer for an hour or two before going to bed.
Listen to some relaxing music or read a calming book.
Watch some calming ocean videos on YouTube.
Don't eat a large meal in the evening too close to bedtime.
Don't have any caffeine (coffee, cola, chocolate, strong tea) after about lunchtime. Try chamomile tea instead especially before bed.
Lavender bags in the bedroom or lavender oil in a relaxing bath can help.
Try having a glass of milk and a banana before bed, they are good for helping you to sleep.
Have a massage. Or give yourself a massage. Massaging your hands or your feet can be very relaxing.
Don't get anxious about not being able to sleep. If you can't sleep, why not get up and write down your thoughts.
Imagine yourself in a beautiful place, where you are happy. Take your mind to places you love.
Focus on happy memories and things which make you smile.
Do some relaxation or meditation. See our page on meditation for grief here.
Try getting up a little earlier in the morning and forego your midday nap, so that you are more tired when you go to bed.
If you are still having trouble sleeping, you could try acupuncture which relaxes the body and mind, and consider seeing your doctor to rule out any medical causes.
If your insomnia is caused by grief, loss or a bereavement, have a look at the pages on this site which will help you to cope. Coming to terms with your loss will help to calm your mind and help you to sleep better. Some pages you might find useful are:
Coping with Grief Anxiety
Activities for Socialising and Relaxation
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Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward? It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life.
Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.
Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.
Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.
Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.
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For USA Residents:
Please help our colleagues at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, USA by joining in their research study:
Losing a child to cancer is devastating, and there is a critical need to develop effective supports.
A federally-funded study in the United States (US) evaluating different types of support for bereaved parents is currently seeking participants. Parents residing in the US may be eligible if they lost a child diagnosed with cancer at least 6 months ago and live in one of the following states: NY, NJ, PA, CT, FL, or TN (other eligible states are being added, please complete the survey to check with us).
To find out if you may be eligible, please click here, visit our website at bereavedparentsupportstudy.com, or email us at parentstudy@mskcc.org.
Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.
The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day!
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