Writing through your grief, by keeping a journal of your feelings or writing about the loss of a loved one can be very helpful in working through your bereavement.
Many people write letters to the lost loved one as a way of expressing how they feel. Stephanie Ericsson puts this very well:
“Writing letters is a way that we can express a part of ourselves that we can't seem to say out loud”
From Companion through the Darkness - Inner dialogues on grief.
Some people say writing through their grief is the only way they have coped. And those who have written books or diaries and had them published say that it is the best way of keeping their loved one alive and making sense of the whole process. It is a permanent reminder of the loved one.
You don't have to be a great writer, or get published. But writing may help you to sort out your thoughts and to express your emotions. You might like writing poems or short stories, or just a daily journal of your feelings. It might be a therapeutic thing to do, as after a few weeks, you can look back and be proud of the progress you are making. You can just use a notebook or regular diary, but there are many specialised grief journals available these days with quotes, prompts and suggestions for where to start like the one above or this one:
Some of the best books on grief are by
those who started writing a grief journal in order to cope with their loss.
Our friend, the well-known physiotherapist Sarah Key, suffered the tragic loss of her little boy Freddie at age 3 months. She started writing a bereavement journal and it became a wonderfully frank and honest account of her experience and how she got through it. It’s a painful story, but her brave attitude and strength can give hope to others who are in the same situation.
There has been some research done on the benefits of writing through your grief. It says that, though you may feel pain or sadness immediately after writing about your grief, there are definite long-term health benefits associated with it. Only 15 minutes of journal writing a day, for four consecutive days has been shown to be good for the immune system. This is good news for those in grief, as it tends to be a time when you go down with colds and flu and infections.
More recently, researchers have looked into the best ways of doing grief journaling for maximum benefit. You can find out more about that here.
Perhaps writing through your grief is not for you, as some people may not feel comfortable expressing themselves in words. You might like to turn to art, or music. You might feel better drawing or painting, or playing a musical instrument to get in touch with your emotions.
Read our page on expressing your grief through art, music, dance, theatre and writing.Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home
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Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward? It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life.
Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.
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Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one. Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles. Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift.
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For USA Residents:
Please help our colleagues at Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center, St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, and Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia, USA by joining in their research study:
Losing a child to cancer is devastating, and there is a critical need to develop effective supports.
A federally-funded study in the United States (US) evaluating different types of support for bereaved parents is currently seeking participants. Parents residing in the US may be eligible if they lost a child diagnosed with cancer at least 6 months ago and live in one of the following states: NY, NJ, PA, CT, FL, or TN (other eligible states are being added, please complete the survey to check with us).
To find out if you may be eligible, please click here, visit our website at bereavedparentsupportstudy.com, or email us at parentstudy@mskcc.org.
Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.
The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day!
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