Grieving for my husband
I lost my husband Nov 2015 to terrible lung cancer. He was only 62. We have one son.
My husband went 18 months and got better than worse back and forth. He worked some during these times. He also had a heart valve replacement during all this. The cancer caused 4 back disks to break.
He really tried to beat this but it was just too far ahead. He was a very liked man and very special.
My son misses him a lot. They were close.
I am having a lot of trouble. I needed some meds for anxiety attacks. I cry a lot and just miss him so much. We were high school sweethearts. I just hate the empty home.
Church helps me a lot. I know I have a long way to go. I am going to Tennessee to take his ashes in September. We were going to retire there. I have never been there without him. I am staying in the condo we stayed in when we go on the vacation there. I am hoping I may get some closure. I really miss him so much.
Thank You for listening to me. Please keep me in your prayers.
How do I cope with grief for my husband?
I lost my husband three weeks ago. It was a sudden death and we were not able to talk before he died. I was away for work when he had a stroke. I easily cry when I remember that his leaving is final. I also grieve for my 12 year old son who will have no more additional memories of time with his dad.
We were married for 28 years and practically all our weekends were spent together. That's why weekends are harder for me, stepping out alone or with just my son.
Sometimes I forget and turn around wanting to say something and there's no one there. There were times in our marriage that were not so good...when I felt righteous believing that I was better. I sometimes feel guilt now for that. How do you say sorry to someone who is not there anymore? I have been asking him to present himself in a dream for me to tell him things that were left unsaid.
I have gone back to work to occupy my mind but I noticed I am not 100% focused. There is this emptiness and hollow feeling inside. How do I cope? How long till it is better?
I think my husband lives on in Heaven
by Linda Dean
Some people ask me why I haven't taken off my ring or dated. I feel as though my husband is alive in heaven and can see me. Also I do not want to make my stepchildren sad or mad. Am I crazy?
Difficult Emotions of Grief
I am starting to find that I can't stand to see couples together. I lost my soulmate, the love of my life a few months ago after 40 years together. I just can't stand the constant crying, breaking heart and yearning for him. I just want to die and be with him again. I have never felt envy at anyone else's life but I am finding I can't be around friends and family who are all couples. It feels like rubbing salt into my wounds.
I hate them all as they demonstrate such affection between each other and I now stand there alone amongst them. I just want to leave this world and be with my love again and be free of the pain and heartache that I can no longer take.
Lost my Fiance and Pregnant with Second Child
I've just lost my fiancé 6 weeks ago and I have a 14 month old boy and am expecting another boy in January. I really need help? I can't cope without him.
Lost My Husband and Suffering Illness - Feel I Have Lost Everything
Feeling very low. I have been ill and in hospital for a while. On the day I had my second operation my husband was brought into the hospital and he died I had been got out of bed and taken to him. I then had to have another big op. I am out of hospital now but still restricted in what I do.
My husband was my world and we had been together over 30 years and I know my recovery has been hampered because of this. I never imagined that anything could hurt so much I adored him so. I have no family and we had no children and we did not really have friends just each other. I think I am going mad as I am alone. I even had to give away our dog as unable to look after him. It will be about another month until I can go back to work.
How does anyone ever get to accept this kind of loss. Everything seems so cruel. Thanks for listening
Looking for Friendship after Bereavement
(Weaver, AL, USA)
Does anyone know of a site where you can talk to someone and build up a friendship. I am a 65 year old male who recently lost the love of his life. I miss female interaction but I do not want a relationship other than friendship with a female. I do not want to mislead someone as I do not believe it would ever go beyond it. Surely there must be women out there that feel the same way and we could fill a gap for each other and it be a win-win situation.
Loss of my husband
My husband died 6 weeks ago and I can't stop crying. We were married 48 years and still had many things planned together. Just feel lost.
How to keep EX-wife away from my husbands funeral service? I AM PAYING FOR IT AND DOING
by Katrina W.
MY wonderful husband died recently, his EX-wife wants to come to the funeral...I know that he and his family hates her! What should I say\do to keep her away??? They have 2 grown sons who already asked me for 1/2 his things===One short month ago my husband said to me, "They took whatever they wanted from me when I was alive! So If something happens to me....Tell my nurse to call the Police.......and don't give them anything! Promise me!?" he said.
Where to start healing first after divorce?
I don't know what stage of grief or sadness I am at, or am I just totally overwhelmed by what has happened to me? I have lived abroad in Spain for 20 years , then the Dominican republic the last 2 years, with my husband and our son who is 20 and our 13 year old daughter. After many years of not really being happy with my husband but having a very comfortable lifestyle, nice holidays and no particular money worries, I decided I had had enough of a very controlling, arrogant, possessive and jealous person who hated anyone being close to me particularly my mum, and caused me a lot of emotional stress, who thought he was the greatest person on earth, and who would not want to be married to him, impossible to confront.
When I wanted to divorce it was a war zone, he used the kids as a weapon, they were stuck in the middle, we had a business that we bought for my son which was run by my husband and my son and I did all the management side, it was just starting to make money but not enough to provide me with a house and money to live on, and my husband threatened all sorts of things that I could not allow my children to go through or see there parents do, he declared war,so I didn't have a choice but to pack 2 suitcases and leave with our daughter and live in the UK with my mum.
My son did not want to come and I know why he has a good job, he loves his life there he is living his dream, I am very close to him but he did not want to leave his dad and all we had worked so hard for. We contact each other every day and he has been to visit me 2 weeks ago and we have agreed to see each other every 4 months, he knows I am broken hearted about leaving him.
My daughter has adapted well she is in a new school she likes and says she likes it here,we left 4 months ago, she has some contact with her dad but he is no way as distraught as I am.
I don't feel like I fit in here going out and being in shops is a nightmare, I feel like a total alien, I am on antidepressants,I have managed to get a part time job that starts soon but I am so emotionally a mess don't no if I can do it.
I feel a raging jealously over the loss of my life and all the things my husband has, his dream life and I feel like I am on the scrap heap, the house is for sale so I will eventually get half of that, but I still have grief all day everyday and see no hope or future, I panic about everything and cry every day, I miss my son so much .If anyone reads this and could please give me any advice I would be grateful.
Please help me grieving the loss of my wife
Hello, I just found your site. I lost my wife of 30 years this January from lung cancer which went to her brain. I am all alone now - kids moved out and no one comes over or calls anymore.
What happened? Everyone has abandoned me, kids left, friends everyone gone.
I guess I'm still coping, crying a lot, living off 5000.00 insurance money which is about gone. I don't know how I'm going to keep our home which is all we really had. I resigned my employment to be her caretaker now I can't find work. Do you know anyone that can help me?
Painful Memories after My Husband Died
Why do memories of earlier days flood my mind and tears begin but the same memory would bring a smile before my husband died this month?
When is the right time to take off the wedding ring?
My husband died about 5 years ago now. I'm only 46 and I've been out with a few men recently, but nothing serious. I'm wondering if I'm putting them off by still wearing my wedding ring, but I can't quite bring myself to stop wearing it. What experiences have others had of this?
Lost my wonderful wife
I lost my wonderful wife almost a month ago and I can't get through a day without tears. When will this awful feeling leave me?
Widow on wrong path?
My friend recently like 4 months ago lost husband after 1 yr battle with cancer. This was a very devoted loving couple. Young..in her forties, she has a 12 yr old, a 16 yr old and 2 more in their 20s. She is now "girl gone wild", doesn't stay home, goes to bars, meets men, promiscuous as all get out. I am appalled by her behavior.
No tears of grief after 3 months?
I still have not cried. It is almost 3 months- I feel sad but not devastated. I went to bereavement class and felt weird since everyone seemed way more emotional. I loved and miss my husband, I just don't feel the grief that everyone else seems to feel.
Is it possible to feel the emotions of a loved one after they have died?
I lost my husband just over a year ago and I have been finding it very difficult to come to terms with my loss having succumbed to emotional eating and other forms of 'self-medication' that are not serving me. Yesterday I felt my husband was very close to me and I also felt that he was extremely sad for me and wanted to help in some way?
Can you tell me, is it possible for a departed loved one to have feelings for us after they have died or am a just imagining things. What I thought I experienced yesterday was, for a few moments, absolutely palpable.
I need advice, mum passed in 2017 and then my dad in 2019. I am really struggling. Hiding it and getting angry easily, blocking people close to me and drinking more than I ever have (not every night but more than I ever would have). I’m working hard but feel my life is spiralling. I have a wonderful husband, no kids, but a lovely family. I just had a holiday and it made me miss them more. I physically aches for Dad, he passed In February. I hate to sound like a moan and I know I should be handling better, I am 42, I walk loads, I’m always busy, never took any substantial time off work after mum or dad. Mum was a long illness, scans and operations. Dad was an accident. I'm just devastated and I don’t know what to do. And help appreciated.
My dear friend died in a motorcycle accident
40 days ago my dear friend had a motorcycle accident and he died instantly. This has been the worst time of my life. I feel lost, I feel numb, most of the time I don’t feel anything. And then it takes my breath away how much it hurts. We met a year ago through work and we lived in different countries so I was unable to attend his funerals.
I fell in love the moment I saw him, everyone saw the sparkles between us. There’s so many untold words and actions and I feel guilty because I thought we had so much time. I wish I could just see him one more time, speak to him one more time and everything will be different.
I keep crying and crying and I’m unable to do anything.
Lost Husband to suicide
I am 40 years old and have been with my husband for 14 years. We have 2 children and had an amazing life together filled with fun, travel & adventure - always spending time outdoors. This past January, my husband took his life by driving straight into a large oak tree near our home. He sent an email a few minutes before he did it.
The circumstances around his death are complicated. I thought everything was great between us up until a month before the accident. I found out he had placed hidden cameras in our home to watch me while I was home working during the day. He thought I was having an affair with a co-worker I communicated with on a regular basis that works across the country. I wasn't.
When I found the cameras, I told him he was sick and needed help and that I was leaving until he removed all the cameras & went to counseling. The next day he decided to end his life.
Since then, as I have been going through his things, I have found receipts for other cameras going back almost 9 years, when we purchased our home, cameras hidden in clocks, in my car...
I am angry, so angry. I am having trouble with other people talking about him. He was a good father and took care of his family. I thought we had a good relationship, but now I see that the reality was not what I thought it was.
I want to move out of my home. About an hour away into the country, nature brings me peace, it always has. My family and friends are telling me I am not thinking of my kids, that it is too soon and too much change for them. My daughter is six, and my son is 18.
My question is, how do I stay here and deal with my anger and suffocating grief. One minute I miss him, but then I get angry and that takes over. If I move am I not putting my kids needs first? I feel like if I get my head into a better place, I will be a better parent and we can start a new life in a new place. I am only planning on moving less than an hour away from my family. Just enough space to re-focus & reconnect with myself and children.
Grief, not of something lost, but something that will never be
Forty years ago I fell in love with a man in my workplace. It was instant chemistry! We worked together for two years and grew very close. Both of us were married (I in a troubled marriage) so we never pursued developing a real relationship, except to have a meal together now and then and keep in touch discreetly via email, etc. We lost track of each other for 15 years, but reconnected online a couple of years ago. As we reconnected, I learned that he now lives only a couple of hours from me.
Since that time, we have met for lunch a couple of times but have still managed to keep our relationship on pretty much a platonic level. My husband passed away from Alzheimer's nine months ago, but he was "gone" for several years prior to his actual passing. Well, the platonic aspects of my forty-year relationship with this man (conducted mostly remotely) have gone by the wayside and we spent a night together, which was absolutely amazing.
He's still married (a somewhat loveless marriage) and has no plans to leave his wife, though our love is genuine and completely mutual. I know I need to let him go, but I find I'm incapable of doing that. Since our night together I'm an emotional mess - paralyzed. I can't sleep, I have no appetite, my house is a mess (and I don't even care). I know I shouldn't continue to spend intimate time with him, but I'm like a cocaine addict who was hooked with that first hit. I feel anxious, lost, and don't know how to get on with life without him. I have loved him for so long and don't know what to do or how to let go. Help!
I still cry
It has been 50 days since my husband passed. I have gone back to work, I try to fill my time up, gone to movies or out for dinner. But, every morning and just before bed I get very upset, crying and asking why etc. I do have some smaller times in the day where I get teary sometimes, when will I feel whole again. I loved my husband so much and miss him more than I could say. I am very lonely, but do have family around.
Anger over betrayal of husband's friend, when I needed him most. . . .
My husband of 37 years was to be discharged on Wednesday and passed Sunday night at the hospital. A friend of his and his wife kept trying to impose themselves on me and the funeral. I met the couple twice and found the wife to be manic and immature. The husband Lee, related to my husband, so I played the good sport. Lee, is an engineer and reserved but seemed intelligent. My husband and Lee talked endlessly about the stock and politics. Lots of emails and long calls for almost 2 years.
When my husband passed I needed help, especially with stocks and issues with the bank. I asked Lee and after a few, "gee, we all miss your husband" emails he stopped responding. I was left to flounder and took bad advice from a broker and lost a great deal of money. I know if Lee had at least given me his opinion or guided me to a solid resource, it would have made a world of difference. A few minutes of his time after all the time my husband had given Lee and his proclaiming how he "loved" my husband.
I struggled with finances, injury from a fall, depression, anxiety, lost passwords, bad mistakes and people - even my pastor - trying to run scams on me. It took me over 3 years to get on solid ground and think straight.
I started to clear out my husband's computer files and was shocked when I found all the old emails from Lee to him discussing stock, selling options, watching 34 different companies and his portfolio. It seem Lee got twice weekly help from my husband for almost 2 years and thanked him for his input and great results. This from a man who emailed me that he it "too much a novice to offer any advice" and suggested I get a BOOK!!
My question, I feel like making a copy of some of these old emails and sending them in a Christmas card to Lee. I have this need to let Lee know I now know better and do not buy his story. I feel he was almost abusive with my husband, trying to contact him for ADVICE WHILE MY HUSBAND WAS IN ICU ward!! Lee even sent his wife to the hospital to try and get in his room. She tried to pass herself off as his relative - just so she could get an answer about a stock!!
What I am really stunned and angry by finding this new information - I just got better these last 3 months about how I was treated since my husband passed. I don't want to pent up any more anger in me.
I want to know how to get over yet another betrayal, I feel the need to contact Lee or should I just let "sleeping dogs lay". I want nothing from him, it is my own "gotcha" moment. I want Lee to know that he has been found out. You have to be a real low life to treat a widow of a "friend" the way he treated me.
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ARE YOU A BEREAVED MOTHER OR FATHER?
We are two bereaved parents who have teamed up with researchers at Yeshiva University and Memorial Sloan Kettering to study how the death of a child impacts parents’ lives, and the resulting ripple effects as life continues without our children. We invite you to participate in a survey which will help us develop resources to better support parents experiencing the heartbreak of child loss.
For mothers or fathers who have lost a child (or children) of any age, and would like to make a contribution to our understanding of bereaved parenthood, this is a way to make a difference.
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For more details, you can contact the Principal Investigator:
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Thank you for your consideration --
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