Lost My Son to Cancer - Feeling So Guilty
by A Mother
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I lost my 19 yrs old son to cancer 9 months back. He was in college when diagnosed and we brought him home and within 10 months he left us. We never imagined he will not survive.
He was doing good until last 3 months. My husband was mostly with him in the hospital for the last three months. I used to visit him 2-3 times a week. I have other child who has bit of autism who won't leave me alone longer. But, I feel so guilty of not visiting my son more often that these thought come in my mind anytime and very often and I would cry. I feel why I did not take sabbatical from work and visit my son every day when my other child was in school. Not only this, I remember each and every time I scolded my son since he was a child and feel so bad - why did I do that?
There are many other things, I don't know how to stop thinking so negatively. I know I am a normal parent and behaved like a normal parent but if I knew he was with us for a short time, I would have cared for him so much.
Thank you so much for reading.
How do you answer: “how many children do you have?” when you have lost a child?
I had a little girl who died at birth two years ago and I have 2 other children, a boy and a girl. I find it so difficult to answer this question, as I don't want to talk about the loss of my little girl in every casual conversation, but at the same time, it's so painful to say 2 children and it makes me feel so guilty.
I'd be interested in knowing what do other people say?
My beautiful daughter is dead and I feel the same
(Boca Raton, Fl. )
My daughter was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in March of 2015. I knew it was fatal and I watched her suffer until August 16, 2015. I was called to her bedside ..she was in hospice care at her home. My denial was over the top. When I knelt at her bedside I touched her and the nurse screamed "You can't touch her because of the pain" Her arms went up in the air and I felt nothing...just numb.
She could no longer see...her eyes were open and glazed over...I whispered in her ear that mommy was here and that I loved her more than anything.
30 seconds later she was dead. I passed out and when I came to my son had carried me outside...I was numb. I was in shock as I understand it. I have not cried for more than 1 time for 30 seconds. That was more than a year ago and I still ask GOD to bring her back. All words...no emotion.
What can I do to come back to life?
Lost my Son to a Motorcyle Accident - How Do I Cope?
My 19 yy old son Brandon Died due to a motorcycle accident... How do I go the rest of my life feeling like this every day. I wake up wanting to call him or invite him for dinner, songs on the radio, friend of his I pass. What do I do with me, my life included him. I can't just change it. I don't want to...I want him back
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