10 Tips to Help Children with the Death of a Pet Cat

1. If the cat has been ill for some time or is elderly and nearing end-of-life, a discussion with the child should take place to explain what to expect during the different stages of the cat’s end-of-life. Convey that kitty has feelings and needs, just like people do, and that special care will need to be taken to insure kitty lives her remaining days as loved and comfortable as possible.

2. Assign certain responsibilities to the child, such as keeping the cat’s water dish full of fresh water so the child feels personally vested in the care of their pet. Encourage the child to interact with the pet by talking about how happy the pet made them feel and what they will miss about their time together. Cats understand the loving tone of a voice and it is important for a child to have a chance to say goodbye to their furry friend.

3. Sometimes euthanasia will be necessary to ease the suffering of a pet - if so, discuss it with the child based on age-appropriateness. Managing how the pet dies can be comforting - some children might want to be with their pet during the final moments, and for others, it will be too difficult to handle. It is important to relay the pet will no longer be in pain and helping to let them go is a humane act.

4. After the cat has passed it is important to implement quality time to honor the beloved pet. Ceremonies or funerals are particularly helpful – if the cat is going to be buried, let the child help find a special spot in the yard and have them write a poem or love letter, draw a picture, or pick out something of meaning, such as a collar or a favorite toy to bury with the cat. If the cat has been cremated, the child could decorate the urn and help decide where to place it. (See our beautiful selection of cat cremation urns). Consider reading a prayer during the ceremony and have attendees share special memories about the cat.

5. Engage in special projects and activities as a family to provide a healthy outlet for the child to express their feelings, such as making a scrapbook of pictures and artwork. Or plant a tree or flowering bush where the child can go to pay respects to the memory of the pet. 

7. Allow kids to cry and express their emotions in an open and positive environment. They might be struggling with complex emotions like anger, denial and guilt, so it’s important to keep the channels of communication open, be patient, give lots of love and reassurance, share happy memories of the pet, and keep active with the daily routine of life as best as possible.

8. Depending on circumstances, notify teachers, friends, family members, caretakers, etc. that the child’s pet cat has died. A child could become despondent, angry, depressed, withdrawn and more, so those people close to the child should be aware so they can react appropriately to the child’s moods and needs.

9. Regardless of age, let the child see the people around them grieve, as they are missing the pet, too. Children learn from the behaviors of others and it is important for them to understand it is a natural, normal process to feel sad or upset. 

10. If the decision is made to adopt again, go to a shelter and let the child help pick out the pet. Perhaps they could suggest names and help get the house ready by picking out special toys, bedding, and more.  Sometimes bringing a new pet into the household can raise feelings of guilt so it is important to help the child understand that by adopting another cat, they are saving a life, with an opportunity to create new and different memories and that the new furry family member is not a replacement for the pet that died.