Ideas for Scattering the of Ashes of a Loved One

After a cremation the decision about the scattering of ashes can sometimes be quite difficult, but there is no hurry. Below are some traditional and some more creative ideas.

Where to scatter the ashes is a dilemma which is often overlooked at first. There is the shock of the death, then the funeral planning and service to survive. All is done in a mist of shocked disbelief. It’s an unreal experience as if you’re detached from yourself and looking on as a bystander.

Then, a couple of days after the service you receive a phone call to say that your beloved's ashes are ready to be collected. This happens at a time when you are still expecting your loved one to walk in the door and you can’t really come to terms that they’re not there.

White Alstroemeria for a cremation

In my case, half an hour after the phone call there was a knock at the door and our undertaker had 'kindly' brought the casket round to the house. Luckily my son had arrived a few minutes beforehand as I found this experience one of the most disturbing of all of the pathways of grief we have to manoeuvre.

To be handed what looks like a tin safety box and know that your vibrant, hard-working loved one is reduced to a few ashes, which you are now holding, is surreal, totally unbelievable. The undertaker lady left almost immediately and my son and I stared at each other unable to speak.

We had a hug and a weep, then I said he’d want to be in his precious workshop on the shelf by his lathe. That is where he stayed until I moved house.  

One friend was horrified that I still have my husband’s casket at home several years on, especially as a friend of hers had had a relative’s casket stolen in a robbery. My husband had a great sense of humour. He would find it very funny that his ashes might be pinched.

But it is a serious responsibility and a duty that gives families much thought. What would the loved one have wanted? Many people leave instructions as to where they would like their ashes to be scattered.

Ideas for Scattering the Ashes

  • Many churches have created small areas in the grounds where parishioners who attended the church can have their ashes buried. Small plaques can also be allowed here. Families can get together and a special remembrance service can be held. 
  • Another option is the scattering of ashes on the parents' graves.  That often gives comfort.
  • Crematoriums also provide areas where ashes can be left and plaques chosen.  Many families love being able to go to these areas and leave flowers.  Services for families can be arranged too.
  • Lots of families scatter ashes in the loved ones favourite park or beach or in a garden.
  • Planting a rose or a memorial tree in the garden and putting the ashes underneath is a comfort for many families.  Or put the urn in the favourite part of the garden. It is good to scatter ashes in the loved one's favourite places.
  • Some people have a special bench at a favourite spot and scatter the ashes around it. 
  • Many people are flown back overseas to their country of birth and then scattered near their parents' graves or homes.

Consider a plaque to mark the spot where your loved one's ashes are scattered

Memorial plaque with poem I did not die

A friend's 90-year-old mother died recently and they had a small family gathering a month later when her ashes were taken to the crematorium. There you can get a memorial plaque attached to the spot. She’s not far from her husband’s plaque. So the family can visit both of them and leave flowers whenever they want.

We have so few family members that to me it wouldn’t be right for my loved one to be in that sort of place, but for many it is the most appropriate.

More Creative Ideas for Scattering of Ashes:

Photo of the sky - loved ones ashes can be send into the sky in a balloon.
  • You can have your loved one's ashes launched into space by satellite. 
  • Ashes can be made into diamonds or glass jewellery. 
  • And there are also companies who will incorporate your beloved's ashes into a celebratory and memorable fireworks display.

Whatever you choose, you do not have to rush this decision.  It is not uncommon to find urns of ashes years after death at the back of Aunty’s wardrobe or even ashes still in a vase on the mantelpiece. Scattering of ashes can be a final act of acceptance along these long pathways of grief. It is letting go of the final contact with the loved one

Where to get help: 

Have You Considered One-on-One Online Grief Counseling? 

Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home

The following information about online counseling is sponsored by 'Betterhelp' but all the opinions are our own. To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with 'Betterhelp', but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.  

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward?  It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life. 

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

  • Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
  • Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
  • Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
  • You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
  • Click here to find out more and get started immediately.
  • Or read more about how online counseling works here.  
Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.  

Read more about it here. 

For Remembrance: 

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Heart Shaped Sterling Silver Pendant for Cremation Ashes, Engraved Forever Loved

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one.  Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles.  Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift. 

Click here to see our selection

Create an Online Memorial Website

Honour your loved one with their own memorial website.  Share photos, videos, memories and more with your family and friends in a permanent online website.  Free for basic plan with no ads. 

Find out more here. 

Keep in touch with us: 

Sign up for our newsletter and receive:

"The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do
To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life"

Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us. 

NEW BONUS - Also receive a copy of our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor'.  Available for instant download as soon as you sign up. Never waste money on poor counseling again! 

Join us on Facebook for articles, support, discussion and more.  Click 'Like' below.

Share this page:
If you found this page helpful, please share it.

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.