Overwhelmed by Grief

by Dave
(North Carolina )

I’m 46 and lost my girlfriend this week. 3 years of being together.

She lost her daughter a few months before we met and that led to her being down a lot. It wasn’t a red flag to me as there were great times. Her family says I kept her going as she might have died of her broken heart a few years ago who knows? I recently moved in with her and don’t know where I’ll go. My aunt died in December and my mom in January. It has just been an awful year. If even one person can guide me it’s more than nothing.

I appreciate any support you can give.

Comments for Overwhelmed by Grief

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Feb 20, 2023
Take it one day at a time
by: Lesley from GriefandSympathy.com

Hi Dave

Thanks for reaching out to us. That's a great start. You have been through a lot, and grief piled on top of grief is really stressful.

You need to give yourself time to grieve. Be gentle and kind to yourself. We have lots of pages on How to Deal with Grief on our site, and some good advice on self-care too.

Don't be afraid of seeking help if you find that after a while you are not coping. It is early days yet. Bookmark our site and come back to it from time to time when you are feeling lost.

I hope you have some family and friends around to support you. Otherwise, reach out and find some connections through support groups. Your doctor or church should be able to help too.

We wish you peace and strength at this challenging time.

Lesley
Editor, GriefandSympathy.com

Feb 20, 2023
Dave
by: Chris

Dave, surround yourself with family and friends who know about grief. Those without experience are likely to, unintentionally, say unhelpful things. Many think they are being helpful by saying, "they are in a better place", or "try to move on."

Your grief can only be defined by you. Everybody grieves differently. You will learn to live with this grief eventually.

In the meantime seeking group support seems to be very helpful for many. Only you get to say how grief affects you. Grief is messy. Some people do not know how to be around that. Find the people who "do" without asking. People believe they are being helpful when they say "let me know if you need anything ". Meanwhile, you’re just trying to live day to day.

Exercise, yoga, and long walks can be therapeutic. As the others have said, be kind to yourself, stay away from timelines, and engage with a support group can all be helpful.

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