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May 21, 2013
How people cope with grief
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Hello Brenda, and first of all, may I say how sorry I am for your loss.

Everyone is differnet, but it can be helpful to hear how others have coped with their grief in the early days. Some talk to their loved ones' photographs, others like to attend the grave at the cemetery with flowers. One friend wrote her husband a letter daily. Another liked to take her loved one's clothes to bed each night. Some people find comfort in writing a diary through their loss and trying to describe their feelings, while others express themselves through painting music or dance. Everyone has a personal story to tell. Discussing the loved one with people who knew them well can be enormous help.

An uncle of mine was convinced that his wife’s spirit was with him all the time. He talked to her as if she was there. He coped alone for 10 years following her death and he was over 90 when he died. That was his way of coping with the loss of his beloved wife of 60 years.

It’s good to talk to friends or supportive individuals but be careful because there are unhelpful individuals who think that their loss or their grief was worse than anyone else’s. They are incapable of genuine empathy and they don’t even realise that they are probably causing a lot of hurt by a selfish thoughtless remark. Choose your friends or family members carefully and open up to those who are really good listeners.

Read the other pages on this site for lots more support and advice.


Nov 23, 2013
Coping with grief
by: Wendy

Hi Brenda,
I am so sorry for your loss.
Grief is a very individual thing. I feel you have to do it your way in your time. Friends are well meaning but unless they have been there and done that they do not know what they are talking about. If you have no counsellor of support group to share with just listen to your inner self. Take time to listen to your inner self and you will find the guidance you need. In times of severe emotion we can lose our sense of self. Feelings rush at us like a tsunami and it is difficult to find the time and mental courage to look inside ourselves. If you can do this you will find what is right for you at this point in time.
I hope this helps you a little,

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