Coping with Bereavement Following Suicide

by Sue

My partner committed suicide in our home on 7/1 2017 following an argument during which I left the house. I feel so responsible and feel that had I stayed or answered his calls he would be here today. I am struggling to function at the moment and cannot stop feeling I could have changed the outcome.


Comments for Coping with Bereavement Following Suicide

Click here to add your own comments

Jan 11, 2017
Guilt After Loss to Suicide
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Dear Sue,

Thank you for writing to us. We are so sorry to hear about your devastating loss.

Any suicide of a loved one leaves a family feeling guilty. Your guilt is multiplied due to the argument and you walking out.

However please try not to blame yourself. We are all responsible for our own decisions and it was his own choice.

It sounds as if it would help you to join a suicide loss support group and also find a counsellor to talk over all your feelings which are so debilitating at present.

You are in the early difficult stages of grief. It is not easy to think clearly.

Give yourself time to assimilate what has happened and do seek medical help too.

There are several pages on this site relating to suicide, we hope you find some comfort soon.

Coping with Suicide

Our thoughts are with you.

The Grief and Sympathy team

Jan 11, 2017
So sorry
by: Michelle

Dear Sue,

I feel for you so much reading your story! My husband has attempted suicide 4 or 5 times so far. The first time was the worst because I felt as if my life has not been enough. It took me many years to begin to understand mental illness, at least a bit. I have learnt that when someone takes their life it is about their state of mind, and not the circumstances. If mental illness was not present they would have responded quite differently to exactly the same circumstances. It is not your fault.

I understand that you feel you could have changed the outcome, but I can tell you that when my husband made the last suicide attempts I got there just in time and he was saved. When I look back I often wish I had not. He has never been the same man since that day in particular. He has suffered depression and mania on and off, and in the last 6 years was diagnosed with dementia, I do believe the dementia is related to all he's been through.

I don't know if this can possibly be of any comfort to you, but I believe my husband would have been better off if his last attempt had succeeded. His world is very small and tragic now, and he is a shadow of the man he used to be. It's as if he wanted to be out of life so badly, and now he is even though his body still goes through the motions of living.

I've learnt that the destiny of those we love is totally out of our hands, there is nothing we can do to change it.

I wish you solace and healing. Sending love from a fellow griever,

Aug 15, 2018
Thank you
by: Christina

Michelle, I wanted to thank you for your reply to Sue. Having lost my brother and my dad, my mum then attempted suicide. I got there in time and saved her. I have felt guilty ever since. I can't say it to anyone else because it sounds so bad but I wish I had let her die. It's so sad to see what she has become and she will never forgive me.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bereavement Forum on Grief and

Teen Daughter Struggling to Cope with Suicide of Best Friend

10 months ago, my 18 year old daughter lost someone very important to her to suicide. She is struggling so badly with this, and while she is not one to talk about her problems, she has finally admitted to me that she can't keep feeling like this and thinks she might need help.

How can I help her?
How do I know if she needs professional help or if time is the only thing that will get her through this?

Please help me help my daughter.

Comments for Teen Daughter Struggling to Cope with Suicide of Best Friend

Click here to add your own comments

Nov 09, 2014
Breakthrough in Grief
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Thank you so much for sharing your daughters problem with us. You have had a great breakthrough in the fact that she has at last talked to you about how she feels. Perhaps she is now ready to talk to a bereavement group or counsellor about how she feels about her loss.

She is young and this may be her first encounter with loss and it is very difficult when a young person is involved.

She is lucky that you are there supporting her and doing your best. Look at what sessions for grief counselling are available in your area. You can ask at your doctor's surgery or the library or community centre.

She may feel more confident on a one to one basis so ask friends if anyone knows a good therapist.

Your daughter sounds ready to talk about her loss and a trained therapist may be the best. Your Doctor or priest may give advice too.

Our very best wishes to you both.

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bereavement Forum on Grief and

Where to get help: 

Have You Considered One-on-One Online Grief Counseling? 

Get Expert and Effective Help in the Comfort of Your Own Home

The following information about online counseling is sponsored by 'Betterhelp' but all the opinions are our own. To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with 'Betterhelp', but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.  

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward?  It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life. 

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

  • Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
  • Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
  • Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
  • You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
  • Click here to find out more and get started immediately.
  • Or read more about how online counseling works here.  
Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.  

Read more about it here. 

For Remembrance: 

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Heart Shaped Sterling Silver Pendant for Cremation Ashes, Engraved Forever Loved

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one.  Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles.  Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift. 

Click here to see our selection

Create an Online Memorial Website

Honour your loved one with their own memorial website.  Share photos, videos, memories and more with your family and friends in a permanent online website.  Free for basic plan with no ads. 

Find out more here. 

Keep in touch with us: 

Sign up for our newsletter and receive:

"The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do
To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life"

Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us. 

NEW BONUS - Also receive a copy of our short eBook - '99 Ways to Spot a Great Grief Counselor'.  Available for instant download as soon as you sign up. Never waste money on poor counseling again! 

Join us on Facebook for articles, support, discussion and more.  Click 'Like' below.

Share this page:
If you found this page helpful, please share it.

Would you prefer to share this page with others by linking to it?

  1. Click on the HTML link code below.
  2. Copy and paste it, adding a note of your own, into your blog, a Web page, forums, a blog comment, your Facebook account, or anywhere that someone would find this page valuable.