Should I attend my ex-husband's father's funeral?

by B
(Ky)

My ex-husband's father passed away and I am unsure if I should attend the funeral (I'm not able to go to visitation.) My ex-husband and I have been split for 7 years and haven't spoken in 4 years. We have a 15 year old son (who lives with his grandparents, the one that just passed.) Thank you in advance.

Comments for Should I attend my ex-husband's father's funeral?

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Jul 03, 2017
Attend the Funeral for Your Son and the Memory of Your Father in Law
by: Betty

Thank you for your post.

Whether or not you attend your ex father-in-law's funeral depends really on the relationship you had with him over the years. If you had a good relationship then it is right that you want to attend.

Even if you sit at the back and slip away without involving yourself too much with your ex you have shown your respect to the deceased. Your son will probably be more involved with proceedings and may want you in the background for support.

At times like these old animosities should be put aside. It is the life of your father-in-law that is being remembered. I am sure you will make the correct decision for you and your son.

With best wishes
The GriefandSympathy Team.

Apr 02, 2018
Best Advice
by: Mark

This is not an easy decision as this could create complications for you, your son, your ex and your ex's family. Everyone afore mentioned needs consideration and in this case you and how you feel should probably come last. As a death of a parent/grandparent can be a very private matter and your presence could cause distress. I would recommend talking to your son first and tell them that you do not want to in any way disrupt his or his father's family in this mourning process. If your son doesn't think that is a problem then asking your son to relay to his father about how he feels about if you attended may be your next best step. If anyone in your ex's husband family has animosity towards you it could create an uneasy situation at the funeral. In which case it may be best for all concerned to opt for not attending. Further you too need to search your soul deeply for every possible motive you may have for wishing to attend. Often an ex may say something like I'm just trying to show my respect when actually it relates to something entirely different.

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