No tears of grief after 3 months?

by Judy
(Lake Ronkonkoma,NY)

I still have not cried. It is almost 3 months- I feel sad but not devastated. I went to bereavement class and felt weird since everyone seemed way more emotional. I loved and miss my husband, I just don't feel the grief that everyone else seems to feel.

Comments for No tears of grief after 3 months?

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Sep 08, 2017
Tears will come when you are ready
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Thank you for your message. We are very sorry for your loss. Not being able to cry for a few months is common during the grief process. Shock and numbness protect us, but there is no time limit on this, we are all different.

Once we have cried it means we have accepted our huge loss and many of us can not accept that it has happened. It is like putting off the inevitable pain of loss.

It will happen and once the flood gates of tears start, stopping may be the problem. One lady was coping then her tears, after 5 months, flowed on the golf course in the middle of a match.

You are grieving in your own way, in your own time, coping how you can. Take each day at a time and try not to compare yourself to others.

You know how much your loved one meant to you. Taking in this enormous loss and realising that you have to cope without him takes time. It is not easy.

The roller coaster of emotions will come and asking for advice is a great start.

You may find our pages on 'Loss of a Husband' useful.

Our very best wishes.

The griefandsympathy team.

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