No immediate family left

by Tracy
(Uk)

I lost my mum 13 years ago, but in the last year I lost my dad, a friend and my sister within 7 months.

I’m feeling alone with no family. My sister was only 57. I only have 2 aunts left.

Just feeling not part of a family even though we were a small family. Feeling incredibly sad.

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Jul 31, 2019
How to Cope with Grieving Multiple Losses
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Dear Tracy,

Thank you for writing to us. We are very sorry to hear of your multiple losses. Not many of us have this amount of trauma to cope with in a short space of time. The loneliness and isolation you feel must be challenging for you.
When grieving we want to crawl away into a corner and mope but please do try to renew relationships with old friends and join a support group or hobby class so that you can feel part of a group again. It may take a while to find the right one for you, but you know what your interests are, the lists are endless, art or photography, yoga or choir. This will give you motivation to get out and you will feel part of something and make new friends.

You are not alone in your grief - so many of us lose loved ones every day and somehow it is up to us to get through each day. Do it not only for you, but for your sister, she was young, but would not like you to be so sad for her. At first we have to go out with friends and pretend to be having a good time, then one day we discover we really did. It is not disloyal to your father or sister to enjoy yourself. Many people feel guilty to be going out after a loss as if they should be sad all the time. Often inside we really are but putting on a brave face to the world helps us too.

Coping with losses like yours takes time and determination, only you can do it, but not alone, go out and make new friends. Confide in people you trust with personal matters. That may be a close friend or a doctor or Minister. Some grief counselling may help.

There are pages on this site discussing grieving multiple losses that may help. The pathways of grief are not easy but you are reaching out for help and that is a good first step.

We wish you well on your journey.

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