My dear friend died in a motorcycle accident

by MyDearGiul
(Italy)

40 days ago my dear friend had a motorcycle accident and he died instantly. This has been the worst time of my life. I feel lost, I feel numb, most of the time I don’t feel anything. And then it takes my breath away how much it hurts. We met a year ago through work and we lived in different countries so I was unable to attend his funerals.

I fell in love the moment I saw him, everyone saw the sparkles between us. There’s so many untold words and actions and I feel guilty because I thought we had so much time. I wish I could just see him one more time, speak to him one more time and everything will be different.

I keep crying and crying and I’m unable to do anything.

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Oct 26, 2019
Shock of a sudden loss
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Thank you for writing to us. We are so sorry for your loss.It is so tragic and and you must be devastated. A sudden loss is difficult to comprehend. You are in shock and this numbness and difficulty with concentrating is all part of this and protects you from the pain of loss a little. The crying is good as it releases stress and lowers blood pressure.

We all wish our loved ones could walk in the door and we could have a last conversation. We also feel guilty about what we said or did not say to them. It is all part of our grief and not an easy stage of life.

It must be more difficult for you because of the distance and missing the funeral. That is an opportunity to speak to others who knew him, which you sadly missed. You could ring and discuss it with someone who was there. Talking about your friend to someone who knew him is good.

Shock lasts for a while and the roller coaster of emotions will catch up when this passes. You just have to take each day and try to cope through it as best you can. Go to work, keep busy and you will survive. I wish I could tell you it is easy but grief is the price we pay for love. None of us would have missed it and lots of people never find it.

There are many pages on the site about how to deal with the loss of a partner and how to walk in the pathways of grief. I hope you find some of them useful.

One day you will remember him with wonder not grief but it takes time.

Our very best wishes to you.

Betty from Grief and Sympathy

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