Lost My Daughter to Cancer During Covid 19

by Anon
(Anon)

Lost my 27 year old daughter to cancer and feel torn. Yes she felt unwell for the past 2 weeks but treatment was stopped 2 months ago because of Covid...this also meant that she didn't get appointments or see doctors etc. because of lockdown.

She was scared to go to the hospital because of Covid and even rang to ask for advice. She was told possible infection and prescribed antibiotics.

I just feel that she was let down by the lack of support for a pre existing condition. While I understand that resources are stretched by Covid I can't be the only one to have lost someone in these circumstances. I still feel angry but shitty for feeling this way because while A&E moved mountains to try to help her it may not have been necessary had she still had normal access to the cancer unit.

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May 02, 2020
Loss during Covid 19
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Hi

I am so very sorry for your loss and cannot begin to understand just how traumatic this has been for you. To lose a child is one of life's great tragedies and in the middle of this pandemic crisis it has created added problems. You will feel angry and wonder whether she would have been better off with continued treatment. However cancer treatments do affect the immune system and so they were probably being cautious for that reason too. Do talk to her specialist about how you feel and talk about her diagnosis and prognosis. It might be that nothing could have helped.

Grief is a painful process and there is no time limit, but we eventually learn to accept our loss. When your child is ill there is a wish that you could take on the sickness for them, we expect them to outlive us. It is a shock and huge sadness when our children leave us first. I do hope that you have friends and family to talk with on the phone and discuss your feelings. You may need extra help from a counselor, GP or grief support group. There are lots of possibilities on the internet during this lock down.

See our pages on:
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Grief is the price we pay for love and no one would ever want to miss that love, though the loss is so painful. We wish you strength and courage.

Betty from Grief and Sympathy.

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