Lost father suddenly

by Clovere

I lost my father completely out of the blue three months ago. He was 76, but a very youthful 76 yr old. Earlier in the year he went trekking in India by himself. He had a cardiac arrest attack and I cannot stop thinking of how I said I was too busy to talk (he would call me continuously ...more than my other siblings he relied on me). I miss him so much..and it was so sudden and unexpected. On top of everything, I can't get over the guilt and wish he knew how much I loved him.

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Sep 13, 2019
Loss of a Father
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Dear Clovere

Thank you for writing to us. We are very sorry to hear about your sad loss. A sudden loss of someone looking so fit is a huge shock. You and the family must be devastated. Guilt is a part of the grief process. We all regret what we did or did not say. Your father knew you loved him and all his calls proved that. Think of all the times you did stop what you were doing and had long conversations with him. He must have really appreciated those times and knew there were times when you were busy.

Give yourself time to grieve and care for yourself during this difficult period in your life. He was a major part of your life and the difficulty is wanting his advice and support. You will adjust to coping without his presence but it does take time.

There are many pages on the site about loss of a parent and I hope you get some comfort from reading them. Keep in touch with family and friends. Take each day as it comes and it will get easier. The pathways of grief are heartbreaking at times. You had a father you loved and that is a privilege that not everyone has.
Now is the time to care for yourself and accept the enormous change in your life. You will never forget him but hang on to the happy memories.

Do not be afraid to ask for help from friends or a support group if you need it. Until we experience the loss of a close loved one we do not realise what grief really means.

Our very best wishes.


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