Loss of my only son

by Shirley
(Tampa, Florida)

My 11 yr old son and I were in a car accident a month ago. He unfortunately did not make it out alive in the hospital. I blame myself for what happened and had hope to have died with him. The pain has been unbearable and have had suicidal thoughts but I know I won't act up on it becuase of my two older daughters and grandson.

The guilt and grief is slowly killing me inside. I don't know how to move forward with life without my son/bestfriend. I feel so lost, alone, and angry at myself and the world. I've dealt with many deaths but this one hit me the hardest and I don't think I can ever recover from this.

I just don't understand why I'm being punished like this. What did I do so wrong that I have to keep going through this?

Comments for Loss of my only son

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Jun 08, 2021
Coping with tragic loss of your son
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Dear Shirley,

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your precious son and your grief is massive because of the guilt you also feel.

An accident is not your fault. They happen to all of us, but it is so sad that it was your son who had to take the terrible result of it. Again not your fault.

To lose a child is one of the worst things that can happen in life. Grief for someone you love can not be rushed and yes, it does take time to come to terms with the loss and adjust to life without them.

The positive you have in life is your other family, daughters and grandchildren. You can concentrate on them and
become part of their lives and, as you said, cope with your grief for their sakes.

Do not be too isolated in your grief. Ask for help, talk to a good friend or counsellor, join a support group.

Writing to us and saying that you will concentrate on your other family means that you do have the ability to cope.

You were so lucky to have had such a great relationship with your son. The price we pay for love is grief. He was a major part of your life and your grief will not be rushed.

Our thoughts are with you at this difficult time of your life, we hope some of the pages on loss of a child to be found on our site may help.

We also recommend the beautiful book 'Bearing the Unbearable' by Joanne Cacciatore. She lost a child at a very young age, and she helps many people with this grief. She has many practical and mindful ways to cope and learn to live with the daily challenges of grief.

Betty from Grief and Sympathy.

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