I feel so many emotions and I don't know what to do

by Caroline
(Boston, M.A, U.S.A.)

Hi, I don't know how to start but here I go. On Valentine's day, I lost my ex boyfriend in a car accident. We had broken up a couple months prior and I was so hurt and mad. He called me almost every night and I refused to meet him and would barely talk to him on the phone. The BOOM! He was gone forever. I have so many regrets for not hearing him out and guilt that this all happened. It's been pretty awful. I had one sibling, my sister, whom we've had our ups and downs with due to an addiction but as soon as he passed, she was right there for me. Calling to see if I was ok, texting me, etc...but 6 weeks later, on March 31st, she passed on as well. I feel awful and lots of guilt like I didn't help her enough with her issues. I'm still in shock but mostly anger and sadness at this point. How could I lose my only sibling on top of this?! Why did this all have to happen within 6 weeks?! Also, on top of this, my Nana passed away as well 4 weeks after my sister. We weren't really close but I feel terrible for my Mom. My parents in general because now I am their only child. If anyone has been through something similar or has any advice, please help. Thank you all. ❤

Comments for I feel so many emotions and I don't know what to do

Click here to add your own comments

May 29, 2019
Help with Multiple Losses
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy

Dear Caroline

Thank you for writing to us at this challenging time in your life. So many losses in such a short time are very difficult to comprehend.

The roller coaster of emotions you are feeling are all part of the grief. Many of us feel guilt following a loss, we think of what we said or did not say. The car accident was not your fault. You can read about guilt and how to stop blaming yourself here.

Your sister must have cared for you as she helped during your break up. That shows she felt you had tried to help her. Addiction is a problem and very hard on families. It was not your fault. At the time you and your Mom must have done all you could.

It is sad to lose your Nan as well at this already challenging time in your life and I wish I could say it was easy. However you will get through this and supporting your Mom is a good start.

So is writing to us and seeking help which shows that you are on the right pathway and trying.

Try to continue seeing friends as usual. Choose someone close to confide in on those very difficult days.

Visit your Mom and support her as you will both be feeling these extremes of emotions.

Don't be scared of tears, they are never far away and are beneficial.

Forgive yourself for these unnecessary feelings of guilt. We can all only do what we feel is right at the time and that is what you did when dealing with your break up and your sister's addiction.

Now is the time to care for yourself and your Mom. Your lives are precious and by supporting each other you will cope.

We have a page on the site about how to cope with grieving multiple losses. There are also some other forum posts about multiple losses if you look on the main Bereavement Forum page. Also there are a group of pages about the emotions of grief. During these difficult times it helps to know that you are not alone feeling these onslaughts of many different emotions.

Our very best wishes.


Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bereavement Forum on Grief and Sympathy.com.

Get Private and Confidential Help in the Privacy of Your Own Home

Do you feel alone and sad with no support and no idea how to move forward?  It can be tough when you are stuck in grief to find the motivation to get the most out of your precious life. 

Online counseling can help by giving you that support so you don't feel so alone. You can have someone to talk to anytime you like, a kind and understanding person who will help you to find meaning in life again, to treasure the memories of your loved one without being overwhelmed and to enjoy your activities, family and friends again.

  • Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
  • Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
  • Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
  • You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
  • Click here to find out more and get started immediately. 
  • Or read more about how online counseling works here.  
  • To be upfront, we do receive a commission when you sign up with Betterhelp, but we have total faith in their expertise and would never recommend something we didn't completely approve.  
Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  

Heart Shaped Sterling Silver Pendant for Cremation Ashes, Engraved Forever Loved

Memorial Jewelry to Honour a Loved One

Check out our lovely range of memorial jewelry for any lost loved one.  Pendants, necklaces, rings or bracelets, we have them all in all kinds of styles.  Choose for yourself or buy as a sympathy gift. 

Click here to see our selection

Hypnosis for Grief - 10 Ways It Can Help You

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind. Learn how self-hypnosis can help you cope with grief at any time of the day or night.  

Read more about it here. 

Join us on Facebook for articles, support, discussion and more.  Click 'Like' below.

Sign up for our newsletter and receive:

"The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do
To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life"

Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us.