Finding Out a Loved One Is Terminal

by Katie
(Wrexham)

Since finding out that a loved one is terminal, my mind has disconnected me from the situation with a fuzzy head feeling. I feel sad but the tears are no longer coming and I am not able to engage in conversation or to hold simple information.

Is this common? I want to say so many things but words are not coming easy in any situation. I constantly feel slightly drugged. I want to feel the emotions even if they are breaking my heart.

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Jan 04, 2021
Shock of Anticipatory Grief
by: Lesley from GriefandSympathy.com

Hi Katie

I'm so sorry to hear that your loved one has a terminal diagnosis. You don't say how long ago you have heard the news, but it sounds as though it is fairly recent?

I myself had similar news a year ago. I remember that I went into a kind of state of shock, which is similar to the shock of grief. It took quite a while to process the information.

The body seems to go into a kind of state of stress where you can't think straight or think about anything other than the awful news. It's quite normal to feel numb and a bit disconnected.

Once that passes, you may find that the floodgates of emotion open. One thing I found helped me enormously to connect to my emotions and work through them was meditation. You can find lots of free ones on apps like Insight Timer or Calm. It doesn't matter which type you choose. You can do ones to help sleep or anxiety, or just a body scan relaxation. Any of them will help you to relax the body enough for it to feel your emotions and let them go.

There is no rush. You will process it when you are ready. My loved one is still with us and has defied all the odds for over a year. It has been a tough time, but I have come to terms with each stage as we have gone through it. I have found that my strength and resilience has grown with each new challenge. My loved one is very sick now and I don't think there is long to go. It is still a lot to handle and face, but I know I'm strong enough now.

I'm sure you will also find the strength to face what is coming and I wish you resilience and peace.

All best wishes
Lesley
Editor - GriefandSympathy.com

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