Difficult to see the way forward after multiple losses

Firstly I want to share my love with all of the people sharing their grief on this site, I’m so sorry for everyone’s losses. This is my story... in the last 2.5 years the following has happened …

Miscarriage of a longed for 2nd child
My husband lost his great job
2nd miscarriage
Father in law passed away
Our 2 cats passed away
My husband lost our life savings and we’re now in debt
3rd miscarriage
Our beautiful home is currently being sold, we’re not sure where we’ll be living as property is expensive here
My husband can’t find work
I can’t find work
2 imminent job offers for husband fell through last minute. The last being this week when we were told last week we could expect an offer.

All of this stress has greatly affected my relationship with my husband, I’m staying strong for my daughter but feel overwhelmed with anxiety, stress, anger, grief, sadness and isolation.

There’s only so much in bad news I feel I can tell people so now I don’t want to see people and am losing friends and family.

Will things ever get better? I’m finding it hard to keep positive...

Am I being melodramatic? Some people here have experienced much worse loss...

I’m so grateful for my daughter, I’m so scared something bad will happen to her, or me, and she will be without a mother...

I’m just trying to breathe deeply and know that “this too shall pass”

Comments for Difficult to see the way forward after multiple losses

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Apr 27, 2019
Multiple losses, miscarriages and job loss
by: Betty from GriefandSympathy.com

After all the losses you have endured in such a short time, it is no surprise that the way forward seems too difficult to comprehend.

You have been through an awful lot and many of the losses you have experienced are not always acknowledged by society so you don't always get the support you deserve. Few people realise just how devastating a miscarriage can be and you have had three. Check out our pages on Coping with Miscarriage.

The emotions you describe are all part of the roller coaster of grief. Multiple loss is overwhelming (check out our page on that - Grieving Multiple Losses.)and the prospect of losing your home frightening.

The challenges you face are more than many of us ever do. You will survive this for yourself, your husband and the love of your daughter will be a huge motivation. Reaching out to our site is a good start, but you will need on-going support.
Find a close friend you can trust to talk to when things get tough. A support group, counselor, GP or family member.

You must also talk to your husband to discuss finances together and find reliable advice on how to cope over the house selling process and loss of income.

If you get financial advice on the way forward this will take away some of the stress. Your husband is also going through a difficult grieving process, with the loss of his job a huge challenge. You may both find it helpful to read our page on Coping with job loss.

It is often difficult for couples to support each other when they are both anxious and worried about the future. It is the time when you both need a lot of support. Do try to find this support for you both during this difficult period. It is a chapter in your lives which will pass.

Going through tough times in our lives makes us stronger. Though at the time it does not seem possible. When the going gets tough the tough get going was an old wives’ tale but most of us have needed that advice at times in our lives.

Try not to give in to the fear and imagine that more bad things are going to happen.

Remember this period is only one chapter of your life, a new chapter is about to start and by working together your lifestyle will improve.

Getting any new job these days takes time and effort with lots of rejections along the way. This is not your failure but too few jobs for too many people. Do not take it personally just keep trying.

We wish you and your family our very best wishes for the future. You sound like a person who tries to be positive which is so difficult when facing all these challenges, you will get through this with your determination.

Betty from GriefandSympathy

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