Did I just experience grief overload?

I'll try to keep this short. I'm a 31 year old male. Marine, college educated, have a lot going for me. I've been dealing with some pretty bad depression as of this past year which I am now seeking help for.

To sum it up for you, I was sexually abused by an older step cousin when I was 6 or 7. Never met my biological father. My adoptive father and mother divorced when I was 4. He moved away when I was 10.

Fast forward 11 years and in the matter of three years, my mom and stepdad father split. My grandma died. My mother dies. Both dogs die. Had to sell the house we grew up in. GF broke up with me. Step father died. Grandpa died. Fast forward 8 years and my ex-fiance cheats on me. I am now the most, miserable bastard walking this planet. I'm in a deep depression and meet someone amazing. After 8 months of ups and downs and self sabtogage on my part she and her three little girls leave for good, forever. I tried to play some calming music this morning after getting out of the shower and I literally WEPT like stopped breathing, whimpering for an hour. Did I just let go of some that grief? Because I'll be perfectly honest with you. I never really grieved any of that growing up and getting older.

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Feb 05, 2017
Men Do Cry
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy


Thank you for writing to us. It is a huge step forward for you, not only for asking others for information, but for getting rid of a lot of that pent up anger and grief.

No one ever said life was fair, some of us get more than their fair share of misfortune in life. You seem to have hit the jackpot in yours. They do say that these misfortunes make us stronger, in fact, able to cope better with what life will throw at us next.

To cope with what you did as a child, then achieve success at college and in your career means that you are a survivor and will get through this latest painful episode.

You have to put yourself first for a change, enjoy your freedom and your own space. Learn to like yourself and realise that all the tragedies that happened to you were not of your making.

To be alone is not to be lonely when we learn to be happy with ourselves. It is far better to be alone than living with partners who make us feel unhappy.

You have a right to be depressed after everything that has happened to you and yes, men do cry and it is good to get rid of pent up feelings. I hope you felt better for it. You have probably tried to be a big strong Marine for too long. Crying is NOT a form of weakness but a natural emotional reaction.

If you haven't already, do read our page on Grieving Multiple Losses

We wish you well for the future. Good luck.

Our best wishes

The GriefandSympathy team.

Feb 05, 2017
So sorry!
by: Michelle

That's just huge! Seems too much for one person. I do think giving in to the tears was a very good thing. Sending best wishes that the help you have reached out for will make a very big difference!

Wishing that things turn around for you very soon!

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