Grieving for my husband
I lost my husband Nov 2015 to terrible lung cancer. He was only 62. We have one son.
My husband went 18 months and got better than worse back and forth. He worked some during these times. He also had a heart valve replacement during all this. The cancer caused 4 back disks to break.
He really tried to beat this but it was just too far ahead. He was a very liked man and very special.
My son misses him a lot. They were close.
I am having a lot of trouble. I needed some meds for anxiety attacks. I cry a lot and just miss him so much. We were high school sweethearts. I just hate the empty home.
Church helps me a lot. I know I have a long way to go. I am going to Tennessee to take his ashes in September. We were going to retire there. I have never been there without him. I am staying in the condo we stayed in when we go on the vacation there. I am hoping I may get some closure. I really miss him so much.
Thank You for listening to me. Please keep me in your prayers.
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How do I cope with grief for my husband?
I lost my husband three weeks ago. It was a sudden death and we were not able to talk before he died. I was away for work when he had a stroke. I easily cry when I remember that his leaving is final. I also grieve for my 12 year old son who will have no more additional memories of time with his dad.
We were married for 28 years and practically all our weekends were spent together. That's why weekends are harder for me, stepping out alone or with just my son.
Sometimes I forget and turn around wanting to say something and there's no one there. There were times in our marriage that were not so good...when I felt righteous believing that I was better. I sometimes feel guilt now for that. How do you say sorry to someone who is not there anymore? I have been asking him to present himself in a dream for me to tell him things that were left unsaid.
I have gone back to work to occupy my mind but I noticed I am not 100% focused. There is this emptiness and hollow feeling inside. How do I cope? How long till it is better?
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My husband was my world and we had been together over 30 years and I know my recovery has been hampered because of this. I never imagined that anything could hurt so much I adored him so. I have no family and we had no children and we did not really have friends just each other. I think I am going mad as I am alone. I even had to give away our dog as unable to look after him. It will be about another month until I can go back to work.
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I don't know what stage of grief or sadness I am at, or am I just totally overwhelmed by what has happened to me? I have lived abroad in Spain for 20 years , then the Dominican republic the last 2 years, with my husband and our son who is 20 and our 13 year old daughter. After many years of not really being happy with my husband but having a very comfortable lifestyle, nice holidays and no particular money worries, I decided I had had enough of a very controlling, arrogant, possessive and jealous person who hated anyone being close to me particularly my mum, and caused me a lot of emotional stress, who thought he was the greatest person on earth, and who would not want to be married to him, impossible to confront.
When I wanted to divorce it was a war zone, he used the kids as a weapon, they were stuck in the middle, we had a business that we bought for my son which was run by my husband and my son and I did all the management side, it was just starting to make money but not enough to provide me with a house and money to live on, and my husband threatened all sorts of things that I could not allow my children to go through or see there parents do, he declared war,so I didn't have a choice but to pack 2 suitcases and leave with our daughter and live in the UK with my mum.
My son did not want to come and I know why he has a good job, he loves his life there he is living his dream, I am very close to him but he did not want to leave his dad and all we had worked so hard for. We contact each other every day and he has been to visit me 2 weeks ago and we have agreed to see each other every 4 months, he knows I am broken hearted about leaving him.
My daughter has adapted well she is in a new school she likes and says she likes it here,we left 4 months ago, she has some contact with her dad but he is no way as distraught as I am.
I don't feel like I fit in here going out and being in shops is a nightmare, I feel like a total alien, I am on antidepressants,I have managed to get a part time job that starts soon but I am so emotionally a mess don't no if I can do it.
I feel a raging jealously over the loss of my life and all the things my husband has, his dream life and I feel like I am on the scrap heap, the house is for sale so I will eventually get half of that, but I still have grief all day everyday and see no hope or future, I panic about everything and cry every day, I miss my son so much .If anyone reads this and could please give me any advice I would be grateful.
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Hello, I just found your site. I lost my wife of 30 years this January from lung cancer which went to her brain. I am all alone now - kids moved out and no one comes over or calls anymore.
What happened? Everyone has abandoned me, kids left, friends everyone gone.
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