My mother's death - could more have been done?

by Neil
(Glasgow Scotland)

My mother died on the 27th December 2013 of heart failure. She was on antibiotics for an infection and seemed OK, but soon fell ill rapidly and was taken off the meds, and put on a mask when she died gasping for air and had rolling eyes,and non responsive. Is this normal because I feel more could have been done?

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Dec 29, 2013
So sorry for your loss, but our lives are limited.
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

I am so sorry for your loss and it is very hard to cope when death is sudden. The response is often to ask should we have done this or that?

Any infection can also put much pressure on to the heart. A dear friend lost her wonderful son of only 12 years when the flu virus affected his heart. We always used to say that Pneumonia was the old persons friend.

With modern medicine we all think that everything can be cured. This is sadly just not true and is false reasoning.

Lifespans are varied and we have to accept the inevitable that the only truth in life is that we have a limited lifetime.

Your mother was very lucky to have had someone who really cared I wish you well and lots of positive thoughts.

Have a look at some of our pages to help you through your grief.

Losing a Parent

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Lost my mother, Dad has a new woman

by Monique
(California)

Hi,

I lost my mother about 8 months ago. My parents were married 40 years, and my Dad moved on just 3 short months after her death. He moved his new girlfriend in and only knew her for about a week.

My father is also my employer and has been for 8 years due to him having his own business and him getting hurt, I had to help run the business. But now that my father has this new woman in his life he disregards any of my feelings. He even lies about having money to pay me on a weekly basis because he spends all of his money on her.

I'm really confused on how to handle my situation and I have no other family other than my Dad, so please help with any advice. Thank you.

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Dec 03, 2013
Condolences on the loss of your mother
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Dear Monique

First of all, my sympathy on the loss of your mother.

Regarding your father, many people find it very difficult to be on their own following the loss of a partner especially after so many years married. It must be better for you to see that he has friendship and you don't have to worry about him being alone and miserable. You can only stand back and hope the relationship is genuine and a compliment to your mother. If his marriage had been difficult he may not have wanted a commitment again so soon.

However you are still grieving and the situation can be difficult, you just have to make sure that you do not lose out with your work and salary.

Maintain your caring daughter image and be there for him if this relationship breaks down. If she isn't genuinely caring about him it might. Your father makes his own choices as you do. I wish you well.
Betty

Dec 05, 2013
ur answer
by: Priyanka

Hey,
don't panic too much . I know u have lossed ur mom but ur mom must b around u looking at u. she wont like u to b sad n tensed n ur dad I guess he loved ur mom n its restless living without partner may be so he feels happy and relaxed with her. and dear if u find her a good lady n if she is really very cooeperative loving n caring to u n ur dad u can see a family with her. I know its v v difficult but if u go against her I don't wanna u to loose ur dad too. or else u hav a talk on the dinner table n put ur thoughts on the table straight away. don't get hyper don't b upset just be matured n tal to them on the table n straightaway from is in ur heart exactly.

Dec 09, 2013
Dear Devoted Daughter
by: Anonymous

Firstly, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Mother.
May I begin by relating a bit of my history? This is not in the spirit of ,"Up-Griefing," you, but , to let you know that as a fellow Californian there are many situations like this that do occur.
A very shady woman from Belize took care of my late mother. When my dear mother passed away- this woman took advantage of my fathers grief emotionally and financially. I lived out of town, and was not in charge of her employment. She methodically separated my father from his family, and eventually got control of his checkbook.
I'm sure you know that in Californias' current culture this type of situation runs rampant. There are a flood of crimes against the elderly, here.
The woman who moved in on your dad may have or may not have his best interests in mind. We can assume that she has her own interests in mind or she would not be the type of woman who moves in with a widower in such haste.
I am truly sorry for the agonizing, helpless pain that you are feeling. It is possible that your dad may be defensive about this subject. But, please remember ( what a good social worker told me) ; You Are His Daughter.
Check his bank statements for money that the move-in may be spending. Copy everything you can, and keep a file. Urge him to lock-up all financial records. Communicate to him that you would like to see any agreement of document before he signs it.
Are you his trustee, and power of attorney? These are the important things to think about in addition to your grief. This is a painful situation, and your concern is valid. You can also contact adult protective services free of charge. They will visit, talk to, and work with you both. Research the woman thoroughly. Is she an illegal alien? Does she have a criminal record? Does she have a drug or alcohol habit? Is she entertaining her friends and relatives in his home, and expecting him to support all of them? Research these issues in her country of origin. It's important, and not that expensive. There are some great elder abuse attorneys in California, and you can find legal aid to help you. Just keep at it. Create your file, and when the time is right -share this information with your dad.
It took several years of pure hell to find and prove to my dad that the housekeeper was manipulating his checkbook. But, when he saw the proof- he fired her! If he was co-habitating with her, we would have been in a much more serious situation. Evicting someone who has established legal residence in your home in the state of California is a long costly process.
You are in my prayers!
Love and Strength To You

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Still numb and worried not grieving or dealing with feelings

by Paula P.
(Beverly)

I had my Mom living with us for the last 8 months of her life. From diagnosis, I went to every appointment,procedures etc. We've shared all the highs and lows.

She's been gone 6 weeks now and I'm stunned at how little I'm crying. Although I'm not a cryer, I'm concerned I'm avoiding or not allowing myself to get in touch with the pain. I am aware that numb is part of the process. I certainly have had my moments and understand we all do it at our own pace. Need a reality check on this.

Thank You

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Jan 25, 2014
The shock of grief can take time. . . .
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Hello Paula.

First of all, I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother had a wonderful daughter to support her in her last months.

Because you were so involved in her care, you will have had some time to prepare yourself mentally and will have suffered some anticipatory grief. Having said that, the shock of grief can still be very strong.

Shock can keep you numb for many weeks or months. It is a protective mechanism from the pain of grief. Many people can go for months without crying. However, when tears arrive it can be difficult to stop. Often a friendly shoulder to cry on will be needed.

One day, something will trigger the realisation of your loss. It can be quite unexpected. One friend suddenly started crying on the golf course. The trigger may take you by surprise. This can be a painful period, but it is part of the process which eventually leads to acceptance and coping with your huge loss. It will happen when you are ready.

We wish you all the best along the pathways of grief. Take it a day at a time, and keep reading our pages which will help you to understand what is happening. Feel free to come back and comment here and let us know how you are getting on and if you need any further help. Perhaps other readers will share their experiences of this too.

Comfort and strength to you in your journey.

Betty

Jan 26, 2014
So sorry for your loss.
by: sonya mcknight

Hi i am so sorry for your loss.

It is normal at this stage it is called griefing you are in shock.

I lost my mum in jan 2012 and 2 years now it is still with me but 7 months into my grief it was taking over me mentally and physically and still is.

I went to see a grief counsellour and I have worked through the stages of grief accept the acceptance one which now I am working on.

It is early days for you at the moment but if you feel this way in time to come go and seek help because if you do not the grief will take over and believe me you do not want to go there. When my mum was alive I was on a high and now my mum is gone i am in the middle but i will go lower and lower if I do not get practical help and support to accept some day down the line that my mum is gone that is why the stages of grief have to be worked through if you do nor work through them then you will never feel better and I know your mum and mine would not want that to happen they would want us to remember them in a healthy way and grief in a healthy way to.

Hope this has helped you and again I am soory for your loss.

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Lost my mother suddenly, who was caring for her mother that has dementia.

Eleven days ago I received a call from my brother telling me he had to call 911 for our mother. he had gone by to check on our mother and grandmother after not being able to reach them by phone. Finding mother on the floor and grandmother in her bedroom he dialed 911 immediately.

The ambulance took both our mother (70 yrs old) and grandmother (92 yrs old) to the hospital. Needless to say my mother could not be saved but my grandmother started improving that night and was moved to CCU. My brother is 50 and I am 48.

This happened late on Thursday 3/6/14 and we laid her to rest 3/9/14. our grandmother was released from the hospital on 3/10/14 and I brought her home with me.

I have not had time to grieve due to the care my grandmother requires.

We have not told my grandmother about our mother passing for fear it will send her spiraling healthwise. The doctors and nurses I talked to said to wait for her to ask about our mother and we would know what to do then. She hasn't asked yet and I wonder if she ever will since she has dementia. There has been a time or two that I notice her looking as if she wants to ask a question but so far all she ever says is everything is OK.

Not telling her about her daughter passing has eaten at me so much. Am I doing the right thing by not telling her? I would never forgive myself if I told her and she got worse health wise but is it right to keep this from her?

I also know it's not healthy for me not to grieve the loss of my mother. Everyone is worried about me and I guess they're justified. I had a heart attack 3 years ago this April 29th. I had a rough day this past Thursday (13th) but kept it brief and away from my grandmother.

I need some advice on these few things, I want to do what is right regarding my grandmother. With her having dementia it's possible I would have to tell her everyday and I just don't think I could re-live my mother's passing everyday.

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Mar 17, 2014
Sorry to hear your story
by: michelle

I feel for you. Such difficult things to deal with.

My husband has dementia and I am learning a new understanding of kindness. Diversion is a friend, not a lie. Why cause unnecessary momentary suffering that might need to be repeated again and again?

I often try to think of how I would like to be treated if I had the problem of dementia. And I think constantly hearing for the first time of the death of someone I loved would not be kind.

I wish you courage and strength as you face these challenges!
M

Mar 17, 2014
Condolences on the loss of your mother
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

I am so sorry to hear about your mother and feel how courageous you are to be coping with your grief and caring for your grandmother.

You are doing the right thing for yourself and your grandmother in not telling her at the moment. It would probably confuse her more and yes, she could be asking you many times a day about "Where is my daughter"? You are so familiar to her that she is just accepting you as the carer. It's possible she even thinks you are her daughter.

Tell her when or if she asks only then.

Do ask for family help so you get some time to yourself. You do need time to cry for your loss. Do get day centre help too. You need time to visit a friend, shop, have a hairdo or have a few hours alone.

Read our site, talk to family and decide if you can continue this full time care permanently. It
is a huge commitment for anyone. You should consider your own health too.

We wish you well in whatever you decide to do. Your health should be a priority. No one can do full time care if they are sick and you do need time to grieve.

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I lost my mother

by JEN
(CHICAGO)

I lost my mom in 2008. Me and my stepdad found her. She had type two diabetes. She died on my brother's birthday-August 9, 2008. I held on to the fact that she hadn't actually died until a doctor told us that she had been dead since 5 am that morning.

My mother raised me and my brother as a single mother. She then got married. She had dreams. She was sweet and beautiful. She was strict. She is the reason that I strived to work hard, to not make excuses, to dream.

So when she was stolen from me, I lost sight of who I was. I gained it back, but I am still fighting to discover who I am. I was so sure of myself when she was around. I never second guessed who was I was...now I don't know.

She never will see me get married to my true love. She will never see me bring her grandchild into the world. She will never enjoy vacation time with me. Or call me. She isn't here to enjoy the rewards of my hardwork and she should be. She is the reason I earned it all.

After she died, I'd call her phone and listen to her voicemail. After she died, I just kept thinking she'd walk through the door at every family function.

Now I don't know how to grieve.

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Oct 29, 2016
Delayed Grief for Loss of Your Mother
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Dear Jen

Thank you for writing to us. We are sorry to hear about the loss of your mother. It must be a great comfort to know that you had such a good relationship with her, not everyone has that. She seems to have been a lovely caring person.

Mothers are a very important part of our lives, their loss leaves a huge gap. Your loss of confidence and anxiety are symptoms of your grief for her.

You are the great daughter she created. You will get your confidence and identity back. Do it for her but also for yourself. What you have lost is your confidence not your identity - you are the same person.

When major life changes are happening, a new home, wedding or children arrive, we all want to share and discuss with our loved ones. It does make their loss more difficult.

She would be so pleased and proud of these changes. She would not want you to be so sad. You have to create a life for yourself and what better example than the one she showed you.

Grief for a loved one can go on for years, you will never forget them. At certain cross roads in your life, you will miss them more than at others, this is only natural.

Do find an understanding friend or support group to talk to. You will discover that your feelings are common and a major part of grief.

The loss of your mother was such a crisis in your life there will be many occasions when you miss her badly.

We have to cope for ourselves and to prove that our love for them made us strong.

There are many pages on the site about coping with these difficult episodes we hope you may find some comfort in them.

Denial and Interruption of the Grief Process


Loss of Self Identity



Our best wishes

Betty

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I Lost My Precious Mother On Mother's Day: Overwhelmed With Grief And Sorrow


(Name withheld)

My mother and I both repented, lived holy lives, with clean hands and pure hearts. God was first love and first priority. We prayed for at least 3 hours each and every day, and studied the Bible for at least 1 hour every day. Prayer was the very first thing in the morning. Our faith was very strong. We strove to obey God's commandments, including keeping the Sabbath day holy. We attended Sabbath services. We served God. Preached the true gospel.

We both practiced abstinence, self-sacrifice and self-discipline, so we didn't spend money on holidays, restaurants or other pleasures. We were truly faithful disciples of Christ, by striving to live according to His word. Out of the little that we had, we donated money to charities and helped homeless people. We were never ever involved in occultism.

My mother was totally faithful to my father in marriage, although he was very abusive towards her. Although, she forgave him many times, the abuse didn't stop. On the contrary, the more she forgave, the worse the abuse became. It reached a point where she had no choice but to divorce him. From then on, my mother never remarried. She lived the life of a widow for twenty years. We lived a very modest and quiet life.

We practiced celibacy and sexual abstinence. Our lives resembled those of nuns. My mother was very protective of me and she taught me to pray since I was two years of age. While parents usually read fairy tale stories to their children, I slept with the Bible under my pillow, which I took with me to the private school that my mother enrolled me in, and I learned about God. We put so much faith and trust in God and I feel like He has really let us down.

The verses in Psalm 103:1-5 state: "Praise the Lord, my soul; all my inmost being, praise his holy name. Praise the Lord, my soul, and forget not all his benefits—who forgives all your sins and heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion, who satisfies your desires with good things so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. The Lord works righteousness and justice for all the oppressed."

My mother suffered from colorectal cancer which spread to her liver and kidneys, heart failure, pulmonary edema and anaemia, including numerous other medical issues. I was completely shocked, devastated and heartbroken when my mother passed away at an early age, and I read her long medical report, which went on and on. She was in terrible pain and had near fatal falls on a few occasions. Despite praying to God continuously, from early morning until late at night, with fasting and begging for my mother to be healed, my prayers returned unanswered. The more I prayed and fasted, the worse her health became. It deteriorated so much that she was bed-ridden for one year and couldn't see the light of day. None of these illnesses run on my mother's side of the family. We both took care of our health by drinking fruit and vegetable juices, exercising and more importantly, absolutely NO smoking, drugs or alcohol.

While other people were celebrating Mother's Day with gifts like cakes, chocolates and flowers, as well as dining with their mothers at restaurants or taking them on luxury cruises, my mother was in the morgue awaiting cremation.

God's people are plagued by an entire series of extremely serious illnesses—including a number of leading people directly involved in the work. During the 1980's there was a huge number of ministers wives that were stricken. It has always been a fact that wives of so many ministers and church leaders have been stricken by cancer.

In 2016, Cornerstone Contact Centre pastor Don Cameron died at the age of 45 years, after a battle with cancer.

Jeffery Largent, pastor of Culver flock passed away in 2016, at the age of 59 years, after his second battle with cancer.

Church of the Highlands Greystone Campus Pastor Keith Lindsey passed away in 2016 after a lengthy battle with cancer.

Kara Tippetts, wife of PCA church pastor Jason Tippetts of Westside Church, in Colorado Springs, Colorado, is a devout Christian mother of four, who had stage-four breast cancer and passed away at the age of 38, in 2015, after a long battle.

In 2014, Steve Hill, the evangelist of the Brownsville Revival, passed away at his Alabama home Sunday after fighting a long battle with cancer. He was 60 years old.

LaKisha died in 2014, at the age of 40 after an 18-month battle with breast cancer. She was the wife of Pastor Breonus Mitchell of Greater Grace Temple Community Church.

A Wesleyan pastor, Daniel “Danny” Eiler, age 30, passed away in 2014, after battling leukemia. He served as senior pastor of The Springs Community Church in Ringgold, Georgia.

David Landrith, senior pastor of Long Hollow Baptist Church in Hendersonville, died at age 51. Landrith was diagnosed with an extremely rare and aggressive form of cancer known as colorectal melanoma in 2013.

In 2009, founder and pastor of Victory Christian Center in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Billy Joe Daugherty's battle with cancer took a turn for the worse as he fought an infection at Houston's M.D. Anderson Hospital. He passed away at the age of 57 years.

The list goes on and on ...

My mother's faith was very strong right to the very end when she passed away, and I wish to point out the fact that I even called for the elders of the church to anoint my mother with olive oil, as the following scripture states in: James 5:14-15 - Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven.

The scripture obviously wasn't fulfilled in my mother's life who was a faithful Christian, and the lives of many other faithful Christians.

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Dec 20, 2016
Grief for Loss of Your Mother - Questioning Your Faith is Natural
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Thank you for writing to us. It is so sad to hear that your mother died on Mothers day. A double blow for you. You were obviously very close and gave her a lot of love and care. It sounds as if you devoted most of your time to her and now you need time to reassess your life. It is your precious lifetime and your mother would have wanted you to have some happy times. Try helping at your church with the Sunday school or womens' groups. You could get involved with the choir. There are many charity shops wanting volunteers. If you go out more and meet people you will begin to feel better and make friends.

In Oct 2014 the Pope made a speech saying that evolution and science had an important role in the world. He also said that God was not a magician with a magic wand. He cannot make all the world's ills go away. There would be no more homeless refugees, or thousands of women and children with no home, food or clothing. We take these things for granted.

You mentioned how many caring people died from cancer. Latest research figures show that 454.8 per 100.000 men and women per year are diagnosed. It is common that we have family and friends who have the disease. My wonderful mother died from it too.

Age is no barrier, children die from this terrible disease as well. There are many types and causes of this. No one is to blame and there is no guarantee of long lifespans. What is important is the quality of our lives. You had some caring times with your mother. The love you had is why you are feeling so grief stricken now.

There are pages on this site about loss of our precious mothers and we are sure you will find some comfort there. How to Cope with the Loss of Your Mother

It may help you to talk to your pastor at this difficult time, or join a grief support group. Losing a mother is one of the most difficult losses to come to terms with. You will do it for her sake and will eventually find your new life rewarding. Grief is the price we pay for love. Many people never know that love.

Read our page on What Grief Meansand you will realize that the deep sadness you feel is a natural part of the grieving process.

Our good wishes to you and we hope you find comfort and support.

The Grief and Sympathy team.

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Lost My Parents

by Lee
(Waco, texas)

On September 1, 2014 my mom died and then October 14, 2014 my father died. I was caregiving for my father, along with my fiance. I found him dead in his bed. I am having a hard time forgetting that moment and a hard time coping with losing both parents. Why did this happen?

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Jan 29, 2015
Coping with Multiple Losses
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Thank you for contacting griefandsympathy.com. We send you our deepest sympathy at this sad and very difficult time for you.

To lose both parents in such a short space of time is a huge loss, our parents are the ones we go to throughout our lives for comfort and support.

Being your father’s carer has given you a huge responsibility and no doubt as most carers do, you have neglected you own needs. Finding your father was a huge shock and we hope he died peacefully in his sleep.

I am pleased to hear that you have a fiancé and hope this tragedy will bring you close so that you can comfort and support each other. As he shared your father’s care he will be grieving too.

You will never forget your parents but you will cope, take each day at a time and try to keep busy. Keep on top of finances, household tasks and all routines. The sad thing is we have no choice but to cope and get on with our lives after a loss. Do it for them. Show that you will get on with the life they created for you and enjoy time for yourself. When you have been a full time caregiver it takes time to adapt to the freedom and lack of the care routines. You realise just how much of your time was spent on these tasks.

There will be unnecessary thoughts of did I do all I could? There will be guilt around, did I lose my patience sometimes? To be the full time caregiver you are one in a million. Many of us cannot take on the huge responsibility, you can be proud of yourself for that. I am sure they would have been proud too.

You asked "Why did this happen"? The one certainty in our lives is that we will we reach our allotted time lifespans. No one knows how long this will be whether it is three weeks, thirty years or ninety years. All life is precious and a miracle of the universe there are no guarantees of longevity.

"Enjoy today as tomorrow never comes" is a wise old saying.

You have had a harsh shock in losing both parents in this short time. It is life’s misfortunes that have dealt a wicked blow. There is no one to blame.

It is commoner than people think for one partner to die very soon after they have lost the other. Latest research shows that grief affects the heart and can result in other medical issues. Physical and emotional health is affected by grief. It may be difficult to sleep and eat. Everyone grieves in their own way and in their own time. It is early days for you and the feelings of desolation are natural. Shock helps to numb the pain in the early days. Anxiety and panic are all part of these early symptoms. Try to relax and let these feelings go, they are adrenaline rushes and will subside. There are many links on the site to explain further the grief pathways and how to cope.

Remember you are not alone. You have already made a big step forward by contacting us and we give lots of advice and help on the site and the forum where others are suffering too. It does help to read how others coped or are adapting to the new life style.

Is it easy? No. Will you cope? Yes. You will get through for your parents, for yourself and your fiancé.

Keep up with friends, ask them to go for coffee or shopping. Talk to a good friend and cry on her shoulder when you need too. Try to say" I am fine" when people ask. You kid yourself too. Keep your support needs for close family and friends.
You may feel that some friends are avoiding you, but it may be that they do not know what to say and are afraid of upsetting you. Ring them and let them know you would like to see them.

Don’t be afraid of all the tears. They will come at unsuspected moments when you hear a familiar tune or see a movie you enjoyed with them, tears are a good release valve.

I have written a page for the site on grieving multiple losses so am sending you the link to it. I wish you all the best and do contact again any time, other readers may also contact you on the forum with ideas. A problem shared does help.

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Losing my father so suddenly is the hardest thing any daughter would have to endure

by Rosalie Martinez
(Victorville Ca)

Losing a loved one ❤ is the hardest thing anyone should go through but its a part of life and it's hard to accept but with the grieving and sadness now follows sorrow but knowing that your loved one is no longer suffering or in any kind of pain should bring a everlasting piece in your heart and in your soul knowing that your beloved father is at rest and watching over you should bring everlasting love and memories of all your childhood memories with all the special moments and memories and it's okay to cry and feel sad every once in awhile that helps and that's a part of the healing process❤ just know your loved one is at peace and with comfort and resting with their angels in heaven and with our Heavenly Father❤❤❤😢💋 love you always and forever gone but never forgotten
My hero my heart and soul my father
Love you always and forever your daughter

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Aug 09, 2016
Losing a Father
by: Anonymous

I know the feeling. I lost my daddy July 20 2016, I'm lost without him. He was my rock, always encouraging me when others didn't and giving me hope when I felt I had none left. My dad was in perfect health and on the dreadful day had an heart attack. ...every morning I wake with tears streaming down my face because I realize it's another day without my daddy.

Aug 10, 2016
So sorry for your loss
by: Lesley from Grief and Sympathy

Although you haven't left your name, I feel for you. I also lost my Dad very suddenly and the shock is enormous. It's early days for you and you will come to terms with what has happened.

In many ways, it is good that you are crying. It will help you to process your grief. A good cry is so much better than bottling it all up.

Do come back when you are ready and read some of the pages on this site about how to cope with your grief.

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Hi I lost my mum in jan 2012 and physically I am coping but mentally I am not what advice can anyone give me.

by Sonya McKnight
(Newtownabbey)

Hi I lost my mum in jan 2012 and mentally I am not coping I miss everything about my mum what advice can anyone give me I do not want to feel this way year after.

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Oct 24, 2013
Coping with Loss of Mum
by: Lesley at Grief and Sympathy

Dear Sonya

We are so sorry for your loss and that you are finding it hard. Do read all the pages on our site about Dealing with Grief and Loss of Parents. You will find all the information you need in our pages.

The main thing you need to understand is that there is no time limit on grief. Everyone is different. But you won't feel like this forever. Do you have supporting friends or family? You need one understanding person to talk through your feelings. If you haven't got anyone, perhaps consider finding a support group. It also helps to write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal or diary, or write a poem about how you feel. Have a look at our page on writing through your grief.

It's also important to go out and be with friends, and continue with your hobbies.

You will never forget your Mum, but imagine that she is with you through your memories. Your memories will become pleasurable instead of painful if you think of them in that way.

I hope that others will come in here and talk to you about how they have coped with the loss of their Mum too. It is good to talk to people who have also experienced the same thing.

Look after yourself, eat well and try and sleep well. Get some exercise too, as all these things will help.

Good luck.
Lesley

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