Did I just experience grief overload?

I'll try to keep this short. I'm a 31 year old male. Marine, college educated, have a lot going for me. I've been dealing with some pretty bad depression as of this past year which I am now seeking help for.

To sum it up for you, I was sexually abused by an older step cousin when I was 6 or 7. Never met my biological father. My adoptive father and mother divorced when I was 4. He moved away when I was 10.

Fast forward 11 years and in the matter of three years, my mom and stepdad father split. My grandma died. My mother dies. Both dogs die. Had to sell the house we grew up in. GF broke up with me. Step father died. Grandpa died. Fast forward 8 years and my ex-fiance cheats on me. I am now the most, miserable bastard walking this planet. I'm in a deep depression and meet someone amazing. After 8 months of ups and downs and self sabtogage on my part she and her three little girls leave for good, forever. I tried to play some calming music this morning after getting out of the shower and I literally WEPT like stopped breathing, whimpering for an hour. Did I just let go of some that grief? Because I'll be perfectly honest with you. I never really grieved any of that growing up and getting older.

Comments for Did I just experience grief overload?

Click here to add your own comments

Feb 05, 2017
Men Do Cry
by: Betty from Grief and Sympathy

Hi

Thank you for writing to us. It is a huge step forward for you, not only for asking others for information, but for getting rid of a lot of that pent up anger and grief.

No one ever said life was fair, some of us get more than their fair share of misfortune in life. You seem to have hit the jackpot in yours. They do say that these misfortunes make us stronger, in fact, able to cope better with what life will throw at us next.

To cope with what you did as a child, then achieve success at college and in your career means that you are a survivor and will get through this latest painful episode.

You have to put yourself first for a change, enjoy your freedom and your own space. Learn to like yourself and realise that all the tragedies that happened to you were not of your making.

To be alone is not to be lonely when we learn to be happy with ourselves. It is far better to be alone than living with partners who make us feel unhappy.

You have a right to be depressed after everything that has happened to you and yes, men do cry and it is good to get rid of pent up feelings. I hope you felt better for it. You have probably tried to be a big strong Marine for too long. Crying is NOT a form of weakness but a natural emotional reaction.

If you haven't already, do read our page on Grieving Multiple Losses

We wish you well for the future. Good luck.

Our best wishes

The GriefandSympathy team.

Feb 05, 2017
So sorry!
by: Michelle

That's just huge! Seems too much for one person. I do think giving in to the tears was a very good thing. Sending best wishes that the help you have reached out for will make a very big difference!

Wishing that things turn around for you very soon!
Michelle

Click here to add your own comments

Join in and write your own page! It's easy to do. How? Simply click here to return to Bereavement Forum on Grief and Sympathy.com.

Get Private and Confidential Help in the Privacy of Your Own Home

  • Simply fill out the online questionnaire and you will be assigned the expert grief counselor most suitable for you.  It only takes a few minutes and you don't even have to use your name.  
  • Pay an affordable FLAT FEE FOR UNLIMITED SESSIONS.  
  • Contact your counselor whenever you like by chat, messaging, video or phone. 
  • You can change counselor at any time if you wish.
  • Click here to find out more and get started immediately. 
  • Or read more about how online counseling works here.  
Woman Crying. Get Started with Online Counselling

Sales from our pages result in a small commission to us which helps us to continue our work supporting the grieving.  


Self-Help Hypnosis Downloads

Try a gentle hypnotherapy track to relax the mind and help you cope with your grief. We recommend Hypnosis Downloads which have been created especially for those who are grieving by qualified specialists in medical hypnotherapy.

Choose from this list of grief and loss tracks for your specific type of loss.  


Memorial Magnolia Tree

The Magnolia is one of the earth's oldest plants, with a spectacular flower which dates back 95 million years.  What a beautiful specimen to commemorate a life. 

These trees are grown by the foremost magnolia nursery in the country and they will send a variety most suited to the recipient's climate. 

The flowers in spring will bring joy to the bereaved and help to heal their heart.

Join us on Facebook for articles, support, discussion and more.  Click 'Like' below.




Sign up for our newsletter and receive:

"The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do
To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life"


Our free downloadable and printable document "The 10 Most Important Things You Can Do To Survive Your Grief And Get On With Life" will help you to be positive day to day.  

The 10 points are laid out like a poem on two pretty pages which you can pin on your fridge door to help you every day! 

All you have to do to receive this free document is fill in your email address below. 

You will also receive our newsletter which we send out from time to time with our newest comforting and helpful information.   You can unsubscribe any time you like, and don't worry, your email address is totally safe with us.